


Do not be afraid (I'll stand by you)

by penwitch



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Caring Merlin (Merlin), Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fear, Friendship, Gen, Hurt Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:42:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28609254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penwitch/pseuds/penwitch
Summary: When a hunt goes wrong and Arthur is poisoned, he suffers from excessive fear and delusions. Luckily, he has Merlin to help him through it.
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Kudos: 29





	Do not be afraid (I'll stand by you)

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: none of the characters belong to me!

Absolutely everything about this hunt was miserable. The rain collecting in his boots, his soaked jacket, the muddy ground, Arthur, just everything. The prince had woken up in a terrible mood this morning and demanded that Merlin joined him on a hunt. Merlin's objections based on the dark rainclouds in the sky fell on deaf ears, and not much later he found himself on the back of a horse. With every mile they put between themselves and the castle, Arthur's mood improved and by the time he had spied some deer tracks, he was almost back to his usual self. That was, until Merlin managed to mess it up.

"Tell me again, Merlin, why do we have to walk home now?" Arthur asked, his voice carefully controlled. He looked miserable, with his hair matted to his forehead from the rain. He would never admit it, but Arthur now wished he’d listened to Merlin’s weather forecast this morning. There was only so much water in his pants a prince could tolerate before he had to admit he was wrong.

"Like I said before, I thought I had seen someone in the bushes", Merlin fruitlessly tried to defend himself, "I was about to check it out, when that stupid deer came running towards me and, well, you know the rest, Sire." If there ever was a time to use his title to try and appease Arthur, it was now, he figured. Unfortunately, not even that had the desired effect. 

"I do know the rest. You, Merlin", Arthur turned around to poke a finger at Merlin's chest, "let go of the horses, because you were scared like a girl". He shook his head in disbelief, then continued marching through the rain, his cloak heavy from the rain. Even if they managed to keep up the pace, they would arrive in Camelot long after sundown. 

Merlin sighed. With everything that had happened lately, it was quite rich of Arthur to judge him for being a little jumpy. Especially when it was his duty to protect Arthur, and then there was the prophecy and the whole thing about two sides of a coin and-

"MERLIN!" Arthur had stopped abruptly and Merlin, who had only walked a few feet behind him, ran straight into his back. "Lord, you really are the most irritating manservant I've ever had. Are you a natural or did you practice that?" The sarcasm in Arthur’s voice was unmistakable. 

"Oh, trust me Sire, that's always been there. I was an extremely irritating child", Merlin quipped. Humor was often said to be the best way to deal with anger, right? "If we could just keep walking, I would gladly tell you some stories, Sire."

Unfortunately, Arthur had other plans. They had stopped in front of a small cave, barely big enough for two people. Please, let Arthur not ...

"We'll stay here for the night”, Arthur declared, looking smug. “It's getting dark outside and we wouldn't want you to get too scared now, would we?” 

Merlin was too exhausted to put up a fight. Wordlessly, he marched past Arthur, took of his wet jacket and sat down near the back wall of the cave. It wasn't much warmer in here, but at least the rain couldn’t drip down his back anymore. He had just pulled of a boot to pour out the water that had collected in them over the course of their trip, when- 

"Firewood, Merlin! And make sure it's at least somewhat dry." Arthur had followed him into the cave and apparently wasn’t going to leave him alone just yet.  
Merlin grated his teeth. Without magic, it would be impossible to find dry firewood in this weather, which meant he had to gather enough wood for the whole night and then dry each piece separately with his magic, and he had to do it all without Arthur realizing. Which meant outside. Outside, where the rain was. Once again asking himself if fulfilling the prophecy was really worth it, Merlin pulled his boot back on. "And don't forget to look for something to eat as well!" Arthur's voice followed him out of the cave.

When Merlin stumbled back into the cave, the moon was already up in the sky and the rain had stopped. He was greeted by Arthur eagerly ripping the firewood out of his arms. “What took you so long? Did you go all the way back to the castle to get wood?” Arthur questioned, but Merlin didn’t bother with an answer and focused on again taking off his wet clothes and laying them out to dry. If he was lucky (and used some magic once Arthur was asleep), they would be good as new by the next morning.

The moment Arthur opened his mouth again, Merlin froze. “Merlin? Didn’t I say you should also bring something edible?” Arthur asked slowly. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Arthur had indeed said that, and he had completely forgotten about it.

“Sire, I tried, but there wasn’t anything that looked edible really”, he lied, praying for his ears not to get hot. 

Unfortunately, sometimes Arthur was smarter than he looked. “That’s a lie and we both know it”, he said matter-of-factly. “I will go out myself and once I am back, you’re fired as my manservant.” 

Merlin couldn’t believe his ears. “Sire, I-“ 

“Enough”. Arthur had raised his voice and Merlin promptly clamped his mouth shut. It was probably wise not to aggravate the prince even more, considering he could also kick him out of the cave. “You can stay here until the morning, but once we have returned to Camelot, I will look for a new manservant”, Arthur stated. “Now, I will go find food for myself. I know we came by some bushes earlier that carried berries.” 

When no reaction came from Merlin, Arthur added: “Merlin, unless you join me, you will not eat tonight.” Merlin remained rooted to the spot, not capable of any reaction. “Fine, suit yourself.” With that, Arthur marched out of the cave.

A heavy feeling had settled into Merlin’s stomach, pushing any hunger aside. Arthur had fired him. Not for using magic, not for disappearing for days on end. For some lost horses and a handful of berries. What a truly awful day. Taking a quick look around, his eyes fell on the pile of firewood he had haphazardly discarded at the entrance of the cave. Like he had done a million times before in Arthur’s rooms, Merlin stacked up the wood and, after the habitual check for potential onlookers, set fire to it with a quick “Forbærnan”. 

Merlin took his jacket, used a quick spell to dry it and balled it up into a makeshift pillow. Scooting as close to the fire as he dared without risking burning himself in his sleep, Merlin lay down and closed his eyes. Despite the warmth emitted by the fire a chill seeped through his skin and heavily settled around his heart. Would he be allowed to stay in Camelot? What would Gaius say? Question after question went round in his head until finally, he fell into a fitful sleep. 

Something felt off. Merlin cracked open one eye and scanned his surroundings. The fire was still merrily crackling away, the sky outside the cave was pitch-black. Why was he awake? It certainly wasn’t because he felt well-rested, that much was clear by his aching muscles.

It took another moment for him to register the sound coming from the other side of the fire. Arthur had wrapped himself in his cloak, using his arms as a pillow, only the top of his hair still visible. Next to him lay a handful of berries. Ah, so he did find something to eat, Merlin registered. 

Another sound came from the bundle on the other side of the fire. Merlin pushed himself up. He’d seen Arthur sleep a hundred times before, and something was off here. 

Before he could continue his musings about Arthur’s sleeping habits, the bundle started to move, rolling towards the fire. Merlin scrambled to his feet. Arthur was already dangerously close to the fire, a few inches more and he’d burn himself. 

Placing himself safely between Arthur and the fire, Merlin started to pull at the cloak to get to Arthur’s face. “Nooo, stop”, some indistinct mumbles came from inside the bumble. If Merlin didn’t know better, he’d have thought the prince had had too much wine.

“Stop that, Merlin, I’m cold”, Arthur whined, looking at Merlin through bleary eyes. Suddenly, he seemed to realize something. “I’ll freeze if you take that off any further”, Arthur said urgently, sweat beading on his forehead.

Merlin drew his brows together, then swiftly stuck his hand under Arthur’s cloak. “You will not freeze, it’s really quite hot under there”, he said, slightly amused at the apparent over-dramatization by the prince. His amusement quickly died, when Arthur showed no signs of having heard him.

“Get your hand off me!”, Arthur almost yelled, his breathing quickening. “You’re bringing in all the cold air, get it off, get it off!” He started flailing his arms to shake Merlin off, getting himself more tangled up in the cloak. 

Merlin pulled his hand away as if he had burned himself. “Fine, look, it’s gone”, he said, raising his hands to prove it, but Arthur didn’t seem to care. He looked through Merlin with unfocused eyes, shivering slightly.

“I’m cold, Merlin”, he pressed out, teeth clattering. “Please. Do something. I don’t want to die.” Now Merlin was utterly confused. Arthur, pleading? He took a good look at Arthur, trying to assess the situation. The prince seemed to be freezing, despite being wrapped snugly in his warm cloak right next to the fire. 

Merlin distantly noted the purple stains on his cloak. Apparently, Arthur had rolled over onto the berries and squished them. Purple stains. Strange, he hadn’t heard of any edible, purple berries in Camelot. He did know, however, that Fianna-berries were growing in the area. They only grew during the winter, often deceiving hungry wanderers who’d eat them with gusto, not realizing they’re poisonous. Arthur must have found them and thought they were edible, and now he was suffering from …  
“Crap.” Merlin’s memory finally supplied the correct information. One common symptom of Fianna-berry poisoning were delusions and fear, which would explain Arthur’s behaviour. The good thing was that the symptoms usually disappeared on their own, but usually, they lasted for a few hours. All you could do was to wait them out. 

Now, Merlin snapped into work-mode. First, he’d have to calm Arthur down, who was close to hyperventilating, trying to push Merlin aside to get closer to the fire. Apparently, the prince was scared of freezing to death, so keeping him warm was the first step.

“Arthur”, Merlin figured it was time to ditch the title, “Arthur, can you hear me?” Frantic nodding was the answer. 

“Good, so listen to me now. You need to calm down, alright? I will make it warmer soon, but I can’t do that until I can be sure you won’t roll over into the fire.” Merlin carefully kept his voice calm and soothing. “Slow breathing, alright?”

When Arthur’s breathing only minimally slowed down, Merlin looked around. Maybe a blanket of sort would help. He quickly grabbed his jacket, putting it on top of Arthur’s cloak. 

“Look, there’s another layer. Now I’m sure you won’t freeze to death.” Merlin tried to make his voice sound more confident than he felt.

Arthur looked at him with wide, glassy eyes, but finally, his breathing started to even out and he curled up under the makeshift blankets, burrowing his nose in Merlin’s jacket. Interesting, Merlin noted. Still, he’d have to keep Arthur as warm as possible to keep him from panicking again.

“Alright, Arthur, so how about I get some more wood so we can stoke this fire a bit? I’ll be right back and- Ooompf”, Merlin was cut off when a heavy body rolled into him, nearly pushing him into the fire.

“NO, nononono, don’t go!” Arthur was frantically patted the ground until it had finally found Merlin’s tunic, to which it grabbed onto tightly. “Stay!”

Merlin felt like his heart was squeezed at the pitiful sight Arthur gave. His blond hair disheveled and matted from the sweat, wrinkly clothes and none of the usual pride and self-control he carried himself with. He looked quite young like that, Merlin realized. 

“Arthur, I need to go outside to get firewood if you want this place to be warm”, he tried to reason, but to no avail.

“Please don’t leave”, Arthur begged, looking at him with wide, fearful eyes. “Everyone always leaves me.” He looked much more like a scared child than the future King, and Merlin’s heart broke.

“But, I’ll be back soon, I promise”, he soothed, patting the hand that still clung to his tunic.

Arthur was having none of that. His voice took an almost desperate tone “No you won’t, people never are, and then I’ll be all alone and-“ Arthur went back to hyperventilating.

“Alright, alright, I’ll stay. I won’t go anywhere, I promise,” Merlin said quickly, tracing calming circles on Arthur’s hand until the death-grip on his tunic finally loosened. “There we go, well done. Now just keep breathing okay?”

Realizing he wouldn’t get out of this situation anytime soon, Merlin stretched out his legs and tried to find a more comfortable position on the cold, hard floor. Hopefully Arthur would fall asleep soon and just sleep the effects of the poison off like a bad hangover.

“Merlin?” A quiet voice to his right pulled him out of his thoughts. 

“Yes, Arthur?” 

“I’m still cold.” Merlin wasn’t sure about that. Arthur’s teeth had stopped clattering, and he looked quite comfortable under his blankets. Maybe …  
Merlin carefully scooted a little bit to the right, towards Arthur. Hopefully, he had interpreted Arthur’s comment correctly, otherwise this would be a very uncomfortable situation. Inching forward, he waited for Arthur to show a reaction.

It took until Merlin’s leg was stretched out, touching the edge of the blanket. The moment Arthur deemed him close enough, his arms shot out and wrapped around Merlin’s leg. Like an octopus, he held on to Merlin for dear life. Merlin was relieved to see his instincts hadn’t betrayed him. After all, there was more to feeling warm than physical comfort.

“Merlin?”

“Yes, Arthur?”

“Thank you.”

Merlin smiled, when Arthur pressed his face into his leg. Carefully, he pulled the cloak tighter around Arthur’s body. When he gave his coat an experimental tug, he realized Arthur was still tightly wrapped in it. Merlin decided he’d be fine without it.

Arthur’s breathing slowly evened out, and long after he had drifted off to sleep, Merlin still ran his fingers through the unruly mob of hair poking out from under the makeshift blankets. 

The next morning, nothing gave away that anything had changed between them. Arthur was his usual self (read: a prick) and Merlin was didn’t mention the past night with a single word. Only when they walked through the doors of Camelot, Arthur suddenly stopped and turned towards Merlin with a half-smile on his face. “You’re unfired”, he said, making Merlin’s heart jump, “You do make a quite a decent servant, you know?”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you loved some hurt Arthur as much as i do!   
> leave me a comment and tell me what you think :)


End file.
